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How to Cope with Chronic Illness

A Summary

Picture of EmilyEmily Duffy’s comprehensive guide to coping with chronic illness draws from her individual experiences and therapeutic insight, providing validation, practical strategies, and emotional support for those navigating long-term health conditions. Chronic illness is unpredictable, often progressive, and deeply affects every aspect of life. This post touches on medical, emotional, and daily life challenges—and offers tools to manage them more effectively.

1. Fighting for a Diagnosis

Many people with chronic illnesses face dismissal or gaslighting by healthcare professionals. Emily emphasizes the importance of self-advocacy—trusting your instincts, seeking second opinions, and preparing thoroughly for appointments. A key tip is to list all symptoms (including frequency, severity, and impact) and prioritize what to discuss, especially given the often-short GP appointment slots. Bringing someone along, asking for longer appointments, and staying informed about your rights can improve outcomes.

However, getting a diagnosis is a personal choice. While it can offer clarity and access to treatment or benefits, it may also lead to oversimplified interpretations of new symptoms or even misdiagnosis.

2. Medical Appointment Fatigue

Medical fatigue arises from constant appointments, follow-ups, and emotional labour. Emily recommends scheduling rest around medical engagements, acknowledging how draining they can be, and seeking support when needed. Whether it's time off work, emotional decompression, or logistical help, pacing around appointments is crucial for sustainable coping.

3. The Grief Process

Chronic illness often involves ongoing grief—for the person you used to be, the life you imagined, and lost independence or relationships. Grieving is non-linear and can intensify with each new diagnosis or symptom. Emily refers to the Dual Process Model of grief to highlight the pendulum swing between loss-oriented feelings and restorative experiences. Compassion for oneself and connection with others are essential in navigating this ongoing loss.

4. Focusing on the "Can Dos"

While it’s important to acknowledge loss, focusing on what remains possible helps cultivate hope. Emily shares that she’s adapted activities she once loved, like replacing running with gentle walks or enjoying gardening in smaller doses. Acceptance takes time, but shifting focus to modified joys helps prevent chronic illness from becoming your entire identity.

5. Anger and Its Many Forms

Anger is a valid and common response to chronic illness. It can be directed inward (at your body or past decisions), outward (towards healthcare systems, societal barriers), or even towards life itself. Emily warns that internalized anger can worsen symptoms and suggests healthy outlets: physical activity, vocal expression, writing, and music. Expressing anger safely helps process emotions without suppressing them.

6. Separating Body from Self

People often refer to their bodies as separate from themselves to cope with pain or limitations. While this distance can be protective, it can also lead to self-blame. Reconnecting with your body through compassionate self-talk—like speaking to yourself as you would a loved one—can reduce this internal divide and foster a healthier mindset.

7. Pacing

Pacing is vital in managing energy and preventing flares. Emily advises starting small and reassessing regularly. Overexerting on a “good day” often results in crashes. Instead, she recommends setting achievable daily tasks and adjusting expectations to reflect current capacity. This requires self-awareness, patience, and—ideally—supportive environments at work or home.

8. Self-Care and Symptom Management

Emily categorizes self-care into mental, physical, practical, and spiritual domains:

· Mental: Using tools like journaling, mindfulness, gratitude, and apps (e.g., Visible) to track and respect your limits.

· Physical: Baths, naps, pain relief tools, mobility aids, and comfortable clothing.

· Practical: Medication management, financial planning, and applying for disability support or accommodations.

· Spiritual/Connection: Therapy, nature, community (online or local), and connecting with pets or loved ones.

Self-care is not a cure, but it supports functioning and emotional resilience. It’s about doing what you can within your limits.

9. Therapy and Chronic Illness

Therapy provides a space to explore grief, anger, loss, adaptation, and self-worth. Emily outlines that therapy for chronic illness often includes validating emotions, building self-compassion, processing trauma, and developing practical coping strategies. The therapeutic relationship itself can model safety and support, especially for those feeling isolated.

Final Thoughts

Emily’s message is clear: coping with chronic illness is not linear or simple. It’s a constant balancing act of managing symptoms, protecting mental health, and reimagining what life can look like within new limitations. Her guide blends realism with gentle encouragement, reminding readers that they’re not alone—and that they deserve compassion, support, and care.

Editor's Note: This is a summary of Emily's original Blog post. You can read the full article on Emily's website HERE

 

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